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The New York Times Seeks My Financial Advice

photo by Robb Walsh

photo by Robb Walsh

My wife says I’ve got to be the brokest guy ever quoted in the New York Times Financial section. Here’s part of what John Schwartz wrote in There’s No Future in Being an Oracle (Sunday July 12):

I DECIDED to take one more crack at this: divining the future by means of the old entrails-of-a-goat routine.

Now, goat guts aren’t part of my usual shopping run, but a food writer I know, Robb Walsh, noted on his Facebook page that he had recently bought a whole baby goat to grill up. I sent Robb a note asking if he had gutted the goat himself and, if so, whether he had happened to see the economy’s future in the aforementioned guts.Robb said the goat came pre-gutted but that the kidneys were still attached. While it cooked, he said, the fat around the kidneys melted and dripped, “which caused my mesquite fire to flare up and scorch the loin a little.”

“So if I had to extrapolate stock market advice from the little bit of goat entrails I had to work with,” he wrote, “I’d say when things get cooking and the fat hits the fire, you better move fast or your loin is going to get burnt.”

I might not make the grade as an oracle, but Robb shows real promise. If Ben Bernanke doesn’t work out as Fed chairman, Robb’s got my vote.

If they appoint me Fed chairman, I recommend you bury your money in a coffee can in a place where the goats can’t get at it.

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